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Can A Spiritual Family Man Have Sex? Conscience Vs Giving In To Love

I have read in Dr. Vasant Lad’s book that both men and women lose Ojas during sex. Some experts say that even thinking of sex and experiencing sexual arousal (without orgasm) weakens and depletes Ojas. I have been suffering from a weakened health for many years prior to getting married (chronic fatique, low energy, stress and fear, etc., lots of Vata) So I am really worried about losing Ojas and weakening my body with sex. My husband is very loving and understanding so I want to find a way to have a balanced and enjoyable sex life for both of us. Because of my fear of losing Ojas I have lost real desire for sex and even fear of being aroused. I get stressed and worried when he wants to arouse me. I have been leading a life of lots of meditation and spiritual direction for more than 25 years (so did he) but this new aspect of life – sex is hard for me to understand and appreciate. Most spiritual teachers say sex is not good for you etc. So I need to know what is the Ayurvedic recommendation for women – how to avoid getting her Ojas depleted but still safely enjoy sexual pleasures in moderation? My husband is more spontaneous, he doesn’t like any rules and restrictions. But he always lets me choose if I want or not sex at any given moment. Thanks again for your kindness and wisdom and care for sharing the priceless treasure of Ayurvedic knowledge with us. – This is a question from one of my readers.

Sex And Spirituality – The essence of spirituality is – “To say what you have done and to do what you have said.” From a pure spiritual perspective, sex is not good for a spiritual aspirant. This rule strictly applies to Brahmacharis and sages who have declared that they have given up the worldly desires. Purity in heart, mind, words and deed is the foundation principle of pure spiritual life.

Sex – Family Life And Spirituality –
While entering the marriage pact, both the man and the women promise to each other that they will lead a happy, loveful and auspicious life, together, grow their family and look after them and live with harmony.

The difference between sage’s life and a family man’s life lies here. The sage has given up everything. But family man has not. The family man understands that he does not have full control over his desires.
The family man understands that he is a social being and has responsibilities of his family on his shoulder.
The family man understands that he need not control his sexual urge because, for him, sex is the means of procreation and sex is a tool to express his love towards spouse.
For a family man, sex is a part of his life. I would say, it is one of the most important part of life.

Sex and spiritual angle – It is explained in Hindu spiritual text books that, over a period of innumerable births and deaths, the soul has to empty all of his desire to get Moksha. The emptying of desire happens by fulfilling it. Hence, if sexual desire arises in a mind, then the person has to give it a logical, social framework called marriage and then proceed with his desire, with some control of mind, without giving himself completely into the desire.

Sex, sexual thoughts, Ojas and immunity
Of course, the body and mind strength diminishes to some extent with sex. It hurts ojas. But Ojas can be improved upon.
By the way, worrying much also decreases ojas, fasting for a long time also depletes ojas, Suffering from negative feelings and guilty consciousness also depletes Ojas.

So, for a family man, it is healthy to have love-full sex at controlled intervals, than developing guilty consciousness and worrying about it. The amount of Ojas that gets depleted by worrying is more than the ojas lost with love-full sex.

Read more – how to increase Ojas

So, sex is part and parcel of family life. Of course, there should be control on sexual desire. It should always be an act of love, rather than an animal instinct.

Consult Dr JV Hebbar

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